Sitting Down With Kai and Marcus: Behind the Scenes of Grace Under Fire

[Setting: A comfortable living room with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city. Kai sits on one end of a leather couch, relaxed in dark jeans and a band t-shirt. Marcus occupies an elegant armchair, dressed impeccably in slacks and a button-down. There's coffee on the table—good coffee, not Kai's terrible attempt.]

Emily: Thanks for sitting down with me, guys. I know you're both busy, Kai with the shop, Marcus with... how many businesses do you actually run?

Marcus: (smiling) Enough to keep me occupied. But Grace would kill me if I missed this. She's been excited about readers getting to hear directly from us.

Kai: She's probably got a list of questions she wants us to answer. You know how she is.

Emily: Speaking of Grace, let's start at the beginning. Kai, that first night at Mystic Grounds, what were you actually thinking when Sam introduced you?

Kai: (running a hand through his hair) Honestly? I thought she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. She was sitting there with this beat-up copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray, completely absorbed, and when she looked up at me... I don't know. Something just clicked.

Marcus: And yet she spent days convinced you couldn't possibly be interested in her.

Kai: God, yes. That was the most frustrating part. We met on a Thursday night, and between then and Monday when we finally got together, I'd shown up at her bookstore, read the books she recommended, started designing her tattoo, danced with her at the Heretic Hall, and she just kept dismissing it as me being nice. "Just being friendly."

Emily: The Oscar Wilde tattoo on your arm: "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." You showed Grace that the first night you met. What's the story behind it?

Kai: (Kai POV novel coming soon-ish) Tony gave me that one during my apprenticeship in Portland, years ago during a particularly rough patch. It was a reminder that even when everything feels like shit, there's still beauty to be found if you look for it. But when I showed it to Grace that first night and saw how she reacted to it, her eyes just lit up, I knew we were going to understand each other in our souls.

Emily: Marcus, let's talk about that first meeting at Riley's gallery opening. What did you see in Grace that made you think she'd be a good fit for the community?

Marcus: (thoughtful) It wasn't one thing. It was the way she asked questions, genuinely curious, not judgmental. The way she watched Kai, like she was trying to understand something about herself through him. And the way she handled that situation with the predator. She was terrified, but she still spoke up. That takes real courage.

Kai: I'll never forget the look on your face when you stepped in. Pure protective fury wrapped in perfect control.

Marcus: Someone had to make it clear that behavior wouldn't be tolerated. (pauses) Though I'll admit, part of my reaction was seeing how scared Grace was. I have a tendency to be... protective of people I care about. But you looked like you were going to rip his arm off. It was quite impressive.

Emily: That protective instinct, let's talk about the stalker situation and the guilt you carried. That was a dark time.

Marcus: (his expression tightening) That was the lowest point of my life in the community. I blamed myself for everything. For getting her poetry published, for bringing her into the community, for not seeing the threat earlier. The dom drop was... (pauses) I've never experienced anything like that. Watching Grace suffer because of choices I'd made, or choices I felt responsible for, it broke something in me.

Kai: You weren't the only one breaking. Watching Grace go through that trauma, seeing her dissociate, the nightmares, the panic attacks... I felt helpless. All the things I'd learned about being a good dominant, about taking care of someone, none of it seemed enough.

Marcus: What got me through it was Grace herself. When she wrapped her arms around me during my breakdown and said "You didn't do this to me," that was the moment I started to believe I might not be a complete failure.

Emily: Grace mentions in the book that you had experienced loss in the community before. Can you talk about that?

Marcus: (long pause) There are some things that stay with you forever. Someone I cared about fell into the wrong hands and I felt like I should have done more. The reality is that there was nothing else I could have done, but it still eats at me. That's all I'll say about that.

Emily: Let's shift to something lighter. Kai, let's address the elephant in the room: your coffee is famously terrible. How does someone who's so precise with art make such bad coffee?

Kai: (laughing) Okay, in my defense, I'm a tattoo artist. I work with needles and ink, not beans and hot water. Those are completely different skill sets!

Marcus: I've tasted your coffee, Kai. "Completely different skill sets" doesn't explain how you made something that tasted like you'd filtered it through an old sock.

Kai: Grace called emergency delivery from Mystic Grounds! During our first breakfast together! I was so embarrassed.

Marcus: As you should have been. That was a crime against beverages.

Emily: Speaking of that first breakfast, Kai, you read all three Mercedes Lackey books in one night. One night. Come on.

Kai: (sheepish grin) I couldn't put them down! Grace had talked about them with such passion, and I wanted to understand what spoke to her. Plus, that quote she wanted tattooed, I needed the full context to design it properly.

Marcus: The entire trilogy is about someone learning to accept themselves and let people in despite trauma. No wonder you were so invested in getting the design right for her.

Kai: Exactly. Those books hit differently when you're designing something for someone based on those themes. I must have sketched twenty different versions before I found the one that felt right.

Emily: Let's talk about the "Out of Control" dance. Kai, that was the moment everything changed between you and Grace. What was going through your head?

Kai: (leaning forward) Derek showed up and humiliated her. Reminded her of every insecurity she'd ever had about not being "girlfriend material." And I just... snapped. I'd been so patient, so careful not to push her, trying to let her come to her own realizations. But watching her hurt like that? I couldn't hold back anymore.

Marcus: I heard about that night. Grace told Elena that she finally believed you wanted her because she could feel it, physically, it was undeniable.

Kai: Yeah. There was no hiding it at that point. Every time I'd been "just being friendly", she felt the truth of it pressed against her on that dance floor. I was out of control of the feelings I'd been trying to keep in check.

Emily: But she still had one more moment of denial after that, didn't she?

Kai: (sighs) Yeah. That same night she got really drunk trying to process everything. I had to take care of her, stayed on her couch to make sure she was okay. Then she avoided me all Sunday. Completely shut me out because she was embarrassed.

Marcus: Classic self-protection mechanism.

Kai: I knew what she was doing, but it was frustrating as hell. I finally went over Monday morning with coffee and we actually talked. And that afternoon, I gave her the tattoo. That's when everything finally clicked into place.

Emily: The tattoo session was when you finally got together?

Kai: That night, yeah. We barely made it through her apartment door after I finished the outline. (grins) Worth the wait, though. All four days of it.

Emily: Wait, so let's back up to that first kiss. Because readers are dying to know, what actually happened that night at the tattoo shop?

Kai: (a slow smile spreads across his face) Ink. It was the ink that started everything.

Marcus: That's appropriately poetic for Grace.

Kai: Right? So I was setting up my equipment, uncapping the black ink, and some of it splashed up. A droplet landed right on her cheek. And I reached out to wipe it away, that was the plan, anyway. Just clean off the ink and get back to being professional.

Emily: But that's not what happened.

Kai: (runs hand through hair) No. My finger touched her skin and suddenly I couldn't make myself just wipe away the ink and pull back. Four days of holding back, of being "just friendly," of convincing myself I needed to be patient, it all hit me at once. She was sitting there in my chair, trusting me with her scars, with this permanent piece of art she wanted on her body. And she'd chosen me to do it. Not just any artist, me. Because of the books I'd read, because of the Oscar Wilde tattoo I'd shown her, because she felt like I understood her.

Marcus: That's a lot of trust.

Kai: It was everything. And in that moment, with my finger on her jaw and her looking up at me with those eyes, I just thought "fuck it." I was so tired of her thinking I didn't want her. So tired of second-guessing every look, every touch. The air between us felt electric and I knew, I knew, she felt it too. So I kissed her. I just... went for it.

Emily: No hesitation?

Kai: Oh, there was hesitation for about half a second. That voice in my head going "what if you're wrong, what if she doesn't want this, what if you ruin everything." But then a louder voice said "what if she does want this and you waste another four days being scared?" So I kissed her, and thank God I did.

Marcus: And then she couldn't speak.

Kai: (groans) God, yeah. The silence was brutal. After we broke apart, she just sat there staring at me with these wide eyes, and I started panicking that I'd completely screwed everything up. My mind was racing, did I misread the signals? Did I just destroy this before it even started? But eventually she asked if we could finish the outline while she thought about it. So we did. Hours of tattooing while this massive thing hung between us, neither of us knowing what came next.

Marcus: But that wasn't the end of it.

Kai: No. After I finished the outline and was cleaning the excess ink off her arm, my hand accidentally brushed her thigh. I started to pull away immediately, trying to be professional, but she took my hand and placed it right back where it had been. (his voice gets quieter) And that was her answer. We barely made it through her apartment door after that.

Emily: Marcus, how did you and Elena meet? And how did you transition from the Portland community to becoming this mentor figure for so many people?

Marcus: (his expression softens) Elena and I met about six years ago, or was it seven? Not through the community. I'd hired her firm to handle some corporate legal work for one of my businesses, and she was the attorney assigned to my case. Brilliant woman, absolutely ruthless in negotiations. But I noticed something else too.

Kai: The signs of abuse.

Marcus: (nodding) She was in a marriage that was destroying her, though she'd become very good at hiding it. The way she'd flinch at certain phrases, how she'd apologize for things that weren't her fault, the careful way she managed everyone else's emotions. I recognized it because I'd seen it before. And I couldn't just... leave it alone.

Emily: So you helped her leave?

Marcus: Not immediately. You can't force someone to see what they're not ready to see. But I could be consistent, reliable, someone who treated her with respect and made it clear that what she was experiencing wasn't normal or acceptable. Over time, she started to believe she deserved better. And somewhere in the process of helping her find her way out of that situation, I fell completely in love with her.

Kai: He's being modest. Marcus didn't just help Elena leave, he gave her a roadmap for what healthy care actually looks like. He showed her what it meant to have a partner who saw her strength and wanted to support it, not tear it down.

Marcus: She did the hard work herself. I just had the privilege of being there while she reclaimed her life. And yes, the D/s dynamic came later, once she'd healed enough to explore what she actually wanted rather than what had been demanded of her.

Emily: Kai, you also came out of an abusive relationship before meeting Grace. How did you recognize what was happening with Serena?

Kai: (exhales slowly) I didn't, not for a long time. Tony did. My mentor at the tattoo shop, he's the one who saved me.

Marcus: Tony's a good man.

Kai: The best. I was at a tattoo convention in Seattle, away from Serena for the first time in months, and Tony noticed how different I was. How confident and creative I suddenly became when she wasn't around. He sat me down in a hotel bar and asked me what was happening at home. And when I started talking, really talking, he looked at me and said "Kid, that's abuse."

Emily: That must have been hard to hear.

Kai: It was like getting hit by a sledgehammer. I'd spent over a year making excuses for her behavior, believing her when she said I was too sensitive, too insecure, not good enough. But Tony helped me see that the constant criticism, the isolation from my friends and the community, the way she'd convinced me everyone else was trying to manipulate me, that was all intentional. She was systematically destroying my confidence so she could control me.

Marcus: And you had the courage to leave.

Kai: Because Tony reminded me who I actually was. What I was capable of. What I deserved. I went home and ended it, and she... (shakes his head) let's just say it wasn't pretty. But I got out, and I rebuilt my life. Tony and Jinx, she's the piercer at my old shop, they gave me space to heal. And eventually Marcus reached out to let me know the door back to the community was always open when I was ready.

Emily: Let's talk about navigating polyamory and D/s dynamics together. How do you two avoid jealousy or conflict over Grace?

Marcus: Honestly? Clear communication and knowing our roles. Kai and I complement each other in what we offer Grace. We're not competing.

Kai: I'm the partner she fell for first, the one who helped her discover this part of herself. I'm more emotional, more openly affectionate. I'm the one who reads her panic attacks from across a room.

Marcus: And I provide structure, stability, a different kind of dominance. Where Kai is passionate intensity, I'm controlled power. Grace needs both.

Kai: Plus, Marcus has way better taste in wine than I do.

Marcus: And restaurants. And literally everything except tattoo design, which I freely admit you're better at.

Emily: Do you ever disagree about what Grace needs?

Kai: Sometimes. Like with the stalker situation, I wanted to wrap her in bubble wrap and never let her out of my sight. Marcus knew she needed some autonomy even in her fear.

Marcus: And there have been times when Kai's instinct to comfort has been exactly what she needed, when my inclination toward structure would have been too much. The key is that we talk to each other and to Grace. We're a team.

Kai: The wedding ceremony reflected that. Marcus walked her down the aisle to me, and Elena was her maid of honor. It was all four of us choosing each other.

Emily: Elena's role in your dynamic, how does that work? She's Marcus's submissive, but also Grace's partner?

Marcus: Elena brought a nurturing dynamic that Grace desperately needed. She sees Grace in ways that Kai and I sometimes can't, because she understands submission from the inside.

Kai: When Grace was spiraling after the stalker, Elena was the one who could reach her in ways we couldn't. She understood the specific shame and fear Grace was feeling because she'd experienced her own version of it.

Marcus: It's not a hierarchy. We're four people who love each other, who happen to have D/s elements in some of those relationships. Elena submits to me, not to Kai or Grace. Kai and I are both dominant to Grace. But we're all partners to each other in a way.

Emily: Let's talk about some of the bigger moments. Kai, the cabin trip where you experienced dom drop, what happened there?

Kai: (exhales slowly) We'd had an intense scene, and then I accidentally hurt Grace. A flogger strike went slightly off-angle, broke the skin. I stopped immediately, called for Marcus, but seeing Grace bleeding while she was so deep in subspace that she couldn't even process what had happened... (shakes his head) The guilt hit me like a freight train.

Marcus: Accidents happen. The important thing is that you stopped immediately and followed protocol.

Kai: Intellectually, I knew that. But emotionally? I was spiraling. And Grace, who was still floating in subspace, she saw what was happening to me. She pulled me onto her lap, held me, told me I was a good dominant and that I'd taken good care of her. She instinctively knew what I needed.

Emily: She took care of you during your dom drop?

Kai: (nods) She did. And then about an hour later, after I'd recovered, she experienced her own delayed sub drop. She'd been so focused on taking care of me that her body hadn't processed the scene. Marcus and Elena found her in the great room, completely foggy and disconnected.

Marcus: We tag-teamed the aftercare. I did grounding exercises while Elena provided physical compression. Then when Kai came downstairs looking for her, he took over her care and we stepped back. That's how our family works, we cover each other when someone needs support.

Emily: But there was also that drawing you made at the cabin, the one of Grace in a wedding dress?

Kai: (smiles) That was the first trip we took to the cabin, actually. Grace was learning to trust me, learning to let me take care of her. And I knew, I just knew, that I wanted forever with her. So I drew her sitting on the dock with her feet in the water, but in my drawing she was wearing a white dress with flowers in her hair. Two years later, I showed her that drawing when I proposed.

Emily: The foundation you all started, the one that connects trauma survivors with therapists who understand alternative lifestyles. Whose idea was that?

Marcus: Grace's, actually. After everything she went through, she realized how hard it was to find a therapist who wouldn't pathologize our relationship or make her choose between healing and her dynamic.

Kai: Dr. Sarah Williams was incredible, but she is just one therapist, she can't help the whole community. We realized there are probably thousands of people who need trauma therapy but can't find providers who understand their lifestyle.

Marcus: So we started a foundation. We fund training for therapists, maintain a directory of kink-aware providers, offer scholarships for people who can't afford care. It's become our life's work, honestly.

Kai: And Grace does talks now, speaking to survivors, other people in the community. Watching her take her pain and transform it into something that helps others? That's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Emily: What's life like now, after the book ends? What does a normal day look like for the four of you?

Kai: There is no normal day. Grace is usually writing, she's working on her third poetry collection. I'm at the shop, unless she needs me home because she's stuck on a piece and needs to "process" it. (grins).

Marcus: I work from home mostly, handling businesses and foundation work. Elena has her charity boards and her own work at the firm. We all converge for dinner most nights.

Kai: And weekends are for us. Sometimes we go to the cabin. Sometimes we just stay home and watch movies and exist together without obligations.

Marcus: Though "exist together" often means Kai sprawled on the floor sketching while Grace reads aloud from whatever book she's currently obsessed with, and Elena and I cook dinner.

Kai: You say that like it's a bad thing. That's literally perfect.

Emily: Any advice for other people in polyamorous D/s relationships?

Marcus: Communication is everything. You cannot over-communicate in a dynamic like this. And you have to genuinely want everyone's happiness, not just tolerate the other relationships.

Kai: And jealousy is normal. The question is what you do with it. We talk about it. We don't let it fester.

Marcus: Also, find your people. Community matters. Having other couples or groups who understand your dynamic, who can offer advice or just understand what you're going through, it's invaluable.

Kai: And therapy. Individual and together. Dr. Williams still sees Grace, and we do check-ins with her as a group sometimes. Just because our dynamic is healthy doesn't mean we don't need support.

Emily: Last question: What do you want readers to understand about your relationship with Grace?

Marcus: That it's real. That it's built on genuine love, respect, and care. The D/s elements enhance what we have, but they're not the foundation. Grace could safeword out of any scene, any dynamic, at any time, and we'd still be here. The submission is a gift she gives, not an obligation.

Kai: And that she's not broken or damaged because this is what she needs. She's not a victim we saved. She's a strong, brilliant woman who discovered something about herself and had the courage to explore it. The fact that what she discovered was submission doesn't make her weak, it makes her brave as hell.

Marcus: She saved herself. We just had the privilege of being there while she did it.

Kai: And now we get to spend the rest of our lives loving her exactly as she is.

[As we wrap up, Elena appears with fresh coffee, good coffee, and Grace wanders in from her writing studio, immediately gravitating toward Kai's lap while reaching for Marcus's hand. The four of them together create something that looks effortless but was built on mountains of communication, trust, and work.]

Emily: Thanks for letting me into your world, guys.

Kai: Thanks for telling our story. For getting it right.

Marcus: And for not making my coffee-making skills look bad by comparison to Kai's disaster attempts.

Kai: I'm never living that down, am I?

Everyone: No.

Want to ask Kai and Marcus your own questions? Drop them in the comments—we might do a Part 2!